$75,000 (limited edition of 1)
-Signed CD/DVD and digital download.
-Come out on tour with me for a few days.
-I write, record and market a 5 song EP about you and your life story.
-Take home any of my drumsets (only one but you can pick which one)
-*Take shrooms and cruise Hollywood in Danny from TOOL's Lamborgini OR we play "quarters" and then hop on the Ouija board for a while.
-If you have a band, I'll join it for a month....play shows, record a CD together, have a swim party, etc.... or none of the above. We could also just sit in yer basement and jam old Van Halen.
If you don't have a band I'll be your personal assistant for a month (4 day work weeks....10 am to 5 pm) and then we take a limo down to Tijuana and I'll show you how it's done (what that means I can't legally get into here, right this minute). If you don't live in LA but are in the USA I will come to you and be your personal assistant/cabana boy for 2 weeks.
-Take a Flying Trapeze lesson together in the San Fernando Valley and then Robin from NIN and his wife make us raw lasagna.
(No takers on that one yet -- act now, there's still time! -- but one teenage fan did spring for the $20,000 mini-golf package.)
My fiscal sponsor, Fractured Atlas, precludes me from offering anything of tangible value in exchange for tax-deductible online contributions -- let alone offers to hook up contributors with illegal substances. But listen, if you want to pop a handful of Demerol and go hang at the Vanguard, have your people talk to my people.
(Rembmer, children, in the immortal words of James Brown: "If you use drugs... you better leave it alone." )